Crossed Wires
by Lennox13
Summary: Many alternate dimensions span across time and space. Sometimes teleporters happen to get their wires' crossed. (Inspired by the fact that Klaus sounds German, and Five can conveniently teleport.)


**Inspired by the fact that Klaus sounds German. Please correct my German if it's wrong. Thanks!**

There was a loud pop.

Inside became outside and it felt like their brains were on fire. Light echoed through every molecule as their bodies were squeezed out into time and space, and warped back to wherever… nowhere… somewhere, at least.

Used to spatial jumps and time jumps, to an extent, Five landed on his feet, fists balled and ready for action. He scrutinised the dark surroundings that stank of sulphur and methane. Gas billowed up from pits in the ground and the air felt hot, heavy and sticky, as if they'd been dumped in maple syrup. That is if maple syrup smelled like ass.

"Where the fuck are we?" Klaus groaned from where he had landed on the ground. Perhaps his perpetually drugged state has helped prepare him for time-travel since his skin merely buzzed lightly from the trip. His head, though, was clearer than it had been in a long time. Something about a place that stank of hell had a very sobering effect.

Diego and Luther were still trying to untangle themselves from each other what with Luther having the fortune to fall on top of Diego. "Ugh, get off me, you giant douche!" Diego growled and shoved Luther to the side. He tried to roll up, but his muscles protested loudly. He settled for slowly propping himself up to sitting.

Vanya lay unconscious in the middle of the seven siblings and Allison, after shaking her head hard for a couple of seconds, quickly scampered over to her prone state and started checking her vitals. Everything seemed okay, and Allison sighed in relief. As long as her family was safe, she could handle anything.

"Everyone else okay?" she asked, scanning over her brothers. Five was scouting the surroundings as best he could. Due to the darkness, they could barely see five steps ahead, but he paced those five steps like a caged lion, muttering mathematical gibberish to himself. Luther looked fine, physically, but his vacant stare spoke of shock. Diego was taking stock of his knives, counting and re-strapping them, and Klaus was talking to….

"Ben?" Allison heard the disbelief in her own voice. Although spoken not particularly loudly, the single word cut through the thick air. Everyone stilled and stared. And then, despite the severity of their situation, equally wide grins broke across the siblings' faces. Klaus, realising that the others could see their once-dead brother, reached out tentatively. His hand met solid Ben! With wide eyes and grinning like a madman, Klaus whooped and jumped on top of his brother, who stumbled slightly before laughing as well.

"Ben? You're here. But, how?" Luther lumbered over and touched Ben's shoulder. Years of guilt, for not being able to protect his brother, came rushing back, and Luther sucked in a painful breath against the onslaught.

Diego was grinning as he walked over. He shoved Klaus off Ben and hugged his brother properly. As soon as he let go, though, Klaus reattached himself. "It's good to see you, man."

Allison watched all of this with tears in her eyes. Her arms were full of Vanya at that moment, but she vowed to hug Ben long and hard as soon as she got the chance.

"I'm glad to finally have another competent person on the team," Five drawled, but everyone could hear the tears and love behind the words. Ben nodded at his brothers and sisters. Having daydreamed this exact scenario so many times, over and over again, he still couldn't quite believe that it was real.

"And not to take away from this miracle, but does anyone have any ideas of where we are?"

"Hell?" Klaus volunteered unhelpfully.

Luther tried to see pass the darkness and dirty fog, but the blackness beyond their immediate surroundings seemed endless and absolute. "Can't you just take us back, Five? I don't think this is the past. Could it be the future?"

"Yes, 'cause time travel is so easy!" Five snapped at Luther. "I'll just quickly take us back; why didn't I think of that."

"Okay, okay," Allison quickly placated. It was obvious that Five was terrified and panicking, thus using sarcasm as a defence. Obvious to her alone, apparently, because Luther was fuming. "So, we just wait for you to get your strength back and try again. Is it the future, though? Do you know?" She looked around at the nothingness and dreaded his answer.

"I… I don't think so." Five acquiesced. "I mean, it could be some remote area in the future, but the air feels wrong. I think it might be a different dimension."

"A different dimension?" Ben spoke up for the first time, pausing in shock at the sound of his own voice. What a weird sensation to be alive again – to feel heat and cold, to smell the air even if it was foul.

Five stared at his brother contemplatively. "Hmmh, maybe." For a few seconds, silence reigned as the two brothers seemed to have a silent conversation. "I mean, it would explain why you're here. If this dimension allows for different energy wavelengths to manifest, it could explain why you can be physically present."

"Or the combination of our powers. Your ability to move through space and time, and Klaus' ability to communicate across dimensions. Perhaps even Vanya's and my energies together… We could have easily ripped into a pocket dimension."

"Or be on an alternate earth!"

The rest of the siblings followed the intense ping-pong conversation with wide eyes, with none truly understanding the full magnitude of what was being suggested. They simply knew that nothing was as it seemed.

A groan drew Five and Ben from their geeky brainstorm as Vanya slowly regained consciousness. "What happened?" she mumbled even before she was fully awake. She still wore her altered outfit, but her violin was nowhere in sight. Around her, her siblings watched her with looks of relief and apprehension. She vaguely recalled the concert and Leonard and… her eyes flitted to Allison's bandaged throat. "Oh gosh! I'm so sorry!" Tears welled up in her eyes and she tried to stifle her sobs with a fist. Allison quickly gathered her little sister up in her arms. Sure, Vanya was the same age as her, but in her mind, and likely the minds of her siblings as well, Vanya would always be the baby. "It's okay, it's okay. You're okay now, everything is fine," Allison whispered and rocked her sister who continued sobbing softly.

BAMPHD!

Blue smoke suddenly materialised in the middle of their group, momentarily coalescing in a vaguely humanoid shape, before disappearing again.

"What the holy heck?" Klaus yelled out from where he was still perched on Ben's shoulders like a glorified parakeet. "Am I hallucinating, or did you guys see that too?

"I don't know what that was, but I say next time, we catch it, whatever it was," Luther announced, stepping into the lead role once more. Old habits die hard.

"Agreed," Five said, and Luther looked so surprised, that Allison nearly cracked a smile.

After a few tense minutes of nothing happening, the siblings started relaxing (relatively speaking) once more. Five tried a few jumps – they failed – and Ben debated going further off and seeing if he could summon his powers. He thought he could still feel the creatures underneath his skin, but if they were in another dimension, there was no guarantee that he could summon them.

BAMPHD!

"Guys!" Diego yelled, pointing at the pinprick of blue smoke appearing. As one, the siblings rushed towards it.

Five jumped, and with arms outreached, his fist clenched around something tangible. He felt a tug, just beneath his belly-button, exactly like if he would jump. He was so surprised to find someone or something with powers similar that he nearly let whoever drag him along. "Oh no, you don't!" The stubborn bastard that he was, Five clenched his teeth, and yanked, only to subsequently be tackled by the rest of his family.

"Ugh," Five's groan joined the cacophony of other moans of pain and discomfort. "You're all idiots!" He shoved Klaus's foot out of his face and wriggled out from Luther's massive arm. He pushed himself up to standing. Vanya stepped next to him and rested her hand on his shoulder. He spared her a look, "Well, maybe not all of you," before focusing his attention on the blue, furry bundle wriggling underneath the pile of his siblings.

"I got it!" Luther rose, one beefy hand clutching around a blue… ankle? What the…?

"Oooh, what is it?" Klaus marvelled, poking at the furry, blue creature which looked surprisingly human. Well, apart from the tail, pointy ears and the lack of a complete set of fingers and toes. But still.

"Beats me," Diego had a knife trained on the creature which struggled like a wild cat, all limbs and nails and teeth. It actually hissed at Klaus, who tried to poke it once more. Klaus darted back with a grin, loving this way too much. "Cute," he commented. "I like 'em feisty!"

"Oh, mein Gott! Wer sind sie? Lass mich los!" The thing spat.

"Huh?" Diego echoed his sibling's thoughts. Well, perhaps not Klaus' exact thoughts. He seemed to get even more excited. "Oh, Deutsch! Wie schön! Hallo, ich bin Klaus. Wie heißen Sie?" He exclaimed with a grin, squatting down to get eye-level with the blue creature.

Said creature stilled, staring at Klaus in shock. "Sie sprechen Deutsch?"

"Natürlich! Es ist meine Muttersprache. Aber wer sind Sie?"

"Did you know Klaus could speak German?" Allison whispered to Five and Diego, who stood beside her looking equally shocked.

"He's actually being useful," Five said dazedly and subsequently got elbowed in the ribs by Diego.

Ben shrugged, "I knew. He learned it that year we got our names*."

"Huh," Five commented. "What's he saying, Klaus? Ask him if he knows how to get out of here! Where are we? Is he human?"

Klaus looked up with an annoyed expression," Can't you see I'm having a conversation? Hush!" He looked back to the blue thing. "Entschuldigung, wie bitte?"

"Kurt. Kurt Wagner. Ich kann auch Englisch sprechen?"

"Nein, nein. Es gefällt mir ziemlich gut, im Mittelpunkt der Aufmerksamkeit zu sein." Klaus winked at Kurt. "Also, sind Sie ein Alien?"

The thing looked kind of offended and Allison tensed. Who knows what her strange brother was saying to the creature? Perhaps it was not such a good idea to have Klaus be the speaker.

"Nein, ich bin ein Mensch. Ein Mutant. Ich kann teleportieren. Wo sind wir? Wie kommen Sie hier?" Kurt had stopped struggling but seemed entirely unfazed by the fact that he was upside down. His tail swished lazily from side to side, and Luther eyed it warily.

Klaus frowned. Was Kurt another gifted person like him and his siblings? Was being blue really such a far stretch from looking like a gorilla or playing house with tentacled creatures from other dimensions?

"Ich weiß nicht? Mein Bruder," he pointed at Five, who was watching them with a frown, arms akimbo. "Er kann auch teleportieren. Ich denke, er hat vielleicht einen Fehler gemacht. Er ist nicht der Hellste. Könnten Sie uns bitte helfen?"

"Ich kann es versuchen, aber ich habe noch nie so viel Leute mitgenommen."

"That's okay, I believe in you, buddy!" Klaus straightened, a twinkle in his eye. "Luther, could you please put down my new friend? His name is Kurt and he's gonna help us get back home! Yay, me!"

His siblings stared silently. Luther gently lowered Kurt to the ground. Kurt numbly jumped to his feet. "I will try," he said, his accent thick. "Please gather around. We must all touch."

Klaus immediately threw an arm around Kurt and grinned encouragingly at his family. "Come on!"

Ben was the first to join him, reluctantly placing a hand on Klaus' shoulder. "Thank you for doing this," he told Kurt.

The other's followed suit, with Vanya quietly asking Kurt if she could hold his hand. He smiled at her warmly and held out his clawed hand for her to take. "Hold on tight."

Kurt closed his eyes and concentrated, focusing on home with the professor and Scott and Jean. He visualised the mansion, the bricks, the trees and the air that always smelled of freshly mowed grass. Teleporting with so many people was difficult, and it felt like wading through quicksand and mud. His limbs were heavy logs and he had to will himself into that temporary state of nothingness, rather than flowing in and out so naturally.

BAMPHD!


End file.
